Sometimes, an inescapable, undeniable, overpowering sensation crawls through you, slowly at first it enters your stomach, rises to your throat, beams through your eyes and, you want to scream. You want to scream the name of a person you desperately miss. You imagine, vainly, that in some Disney World reality you can shout their name as loudly as possible and they will come back into your life—reappear for a moment—and you will be fine, for a moment. For an exquisite moment you will cherish and hold on...to...forever.
Where are you? Why aren't you here? Dad!!!!!!!
Dad. Oh Dad. What happened? What happened? I can't believe you're not here.
Of course, you know why he's not here; and you don't scream—audibly—because your life is not the movies. Your life is real. Absence is real. Acceptance is hard. Painfully hard, but it is all we can grab onto and keep our heads uplifted, our hearts beating. Scream "I accept this pain!" "I don't like it, but I accept it!" Scream that and go on a little better. Admit that acceptance is hard and you can accept that sorrow is okay. Recognize that truth. One day, if you're lucky, someone will scream your name and...you won't return either. You will want them to go on, too.
Parent, Child, Friend, Lover, Hero, Pet; Death, Divorce, Breakup...loss can drive you insane, if you don't recognize when you're at a loss to explain it.
Dad! I can't change that you're not here, but I hope that you hear me...
because I hear you everyday.
Chris Haley - 8/17/2012 5:28 PM
Alex Haley Roots Foundation Contacts
|Bill Haley Jr.||Chris Haley||Andrea Blackstone|
|Chief Executive Officer|
|Public Speaker / Actor / Performer|
|Grove Street Magazine Founder|